Kathryn Morrow | Relationships Editor
Whether you’re a husband or wife, a boyfriend or girlfriend, or a mother/father or caregiver, you probably didn’t realize how much of your identity you might lose while dedicating yourself to your relationships and loved ones.
Norma Yachimec, mother of 4 and founder of The Guided Self (Belief Coding) recognized this disconnect in her own life and attributes it to past trauma, anxiety and lack of self worth.
I had the privilege of speaking directly to Yachimec, and she articulated, “very few people recognize the extent to which trauma (past and recent) affects their beliefs and behaviors or can recognize the cycles that they are repeating.” She continues, “I learned the hard way that as a woman that chose to have children and be a stay at home Mom, I did not know or have the tools to provide myself with the support I needed to have a fulfilling, happy life.”
Based on her personal experiences, education, expertise and work with others, Yachimec has narrowed down the following 5 golden nuggets to maintaining your identify while processing your trauma and finding yourself:
1- Dig deep and find where your trauma lies and deal with it: Get help if you need it! Trauma doesn’t resolve itself…by acknowledging the trauma and facing it head on, you’ll be able to seek the app to help.
2- All emotions and points of view are valid and have the right to be expressed: As I say to my toddlers, “you can be mad, but you can’t be mean.” Stuffing your emotions not only hurts yourself, but it will also hurt those around you if they come out in an explosion later. Learn how to clearly articulate your feelings so they can be resolved.
3- Learn what your core values are, hold to them, do not compromise them: Core values are the elements of your life you can’t live without (likewise cannot live with). Identify them, and then clearly communicate them.
4- Strong boundaries, and the strength to stand behind them are so very important: Recognizing the difference between a boundary and an ultimatum will give you ultimate power. Remember, an ultimatum punishes others, a boundary protects YOU!
5- Open, proper communication is not something a lot of us learn. Learn that and it will work wonders in so many areas of your life: Poor communication is worse that no communication. Take the time to enhance the skills you have and learn new ones. Your relationship will thank you!
Yachimec has a passion for helping moms, but these words of wisdom can be used across the board. By recognizing and addressing trauma, you’ll not only increase self awareness but will improve your current and future relationships.
✨International Best Selling Author
✨Lvl 3 Gottman Trained Marriage Coach
✨Certified Sex Therapy Informed Professional Training
✨Daughter of The King
Kathryn Morrow, MSc
CEO: The White Picket Fence Project