Executive Contributor | Cass Morrow | Self-Care
For a lot of people, the holidays are full of joy, excitement, and time with the people they love most.
But if you don’t have the passion and intimacy you crave in your marriage, it can very lonely and isolating – something that Cass and Kathryn Morrow have experienced first-hand.
After years of abusive behaviour, communication shutdowns, and holding each other in contempt, the Morrows hit a breaking point.
They decided to rip up the rule book and reinvigorate their sex life in their own way. The results were revolutionary.
And now, they want to share their story on the TED stage, to reduce divorce statistics and save families from imploding around the world.
The Morrows help couples all around the world to step away from society’s solutions and find new ways to solve their marriage issues. But what exactly are society’s solutions?
Well, they can be broken down using the word ‘SOCIETY’:
S – ‘Social Cues’
Cass explains this one best:
“A lot of guys live and die by calling themselves a provider and protector. Guess what? Being a great guy, husband, or dad is the bare minimum – so it doesn’t turn your wife on.”
O – ‘Overcompensating
We’ve all heard the saying ‘happy wife, happy life’, but disagreements are normal. Your wife doesn’t want someone who agrees with everything she says – and she definitely won’t respect it.
C – ‘Chores’
Doing chores in the hope of getting a treat from your wife?It’s not happening.
Cass is pretty firm on this one:
“Looking for approval and doing the bare minimum is not attractive. You live in a joint household – so contribute to it.”
I – ‘I Give’
Showering your wife in gifts, quality time, or love letters, all because you want something in return, will make her feel like a hooker.
‘E’ – Ego Feeding
Your wife should be the most beautiful woman on the planet to you. But pretending other women don’t exist so you don’t offend her shows you have no integrity.
Make her feel good about herself because you mean it, not because you’re trying to diffuse a future bomb.
T – ‘The Talk’
This is the solution that Cass feels most strongly about.
We’ve been conditioned to talk about everything we feel – including a lack of sex life. Sure, this will fix things for awhile, but the next time you bring it up, she’s angry and eventually you both just shut down completely. She isn’t happy, and you’re coming across as desperate.
Y – ‘Yuck’
This is the result of following society’s solutions – no sex or intimacy.
So, what is the answer?
Tip #1 – Act Like You’re There Already
Act like you’re already having great sex on the regular – you’re more likely to make it happen. If you want a passionate life and a healthy bedroom, put this type of behaviour out into the world.
Tip #2 – Turn Your Focus Elsewhere
If you’re constantly getting rejected by your wife, channel your energy into your kids.
Cass says this is especially important during the holiday season:
“This time should be used for joy. Sing, dance, play and laugh with your kids! Find the love you need somewhere else and be a great father at the same time.
Plus, if your spouse sees that you aren’t impacted by their rejection, they will view you differently.”
Tip #3 – Stop Using Society’s Solutions for the WRONG reasons
Society’s solutions don’t work because they are everything you should be doing anyway. You should strive to be a husband, parent, and human all the time.
If you’re doing ANY of these things and expecting something in return, you are doing them for the wrong reasons. And that is never going to lead you to what you really want.
No matter how bad your marriage, if you follow these tips and love your partner no matter what, you can make a positive change.
To date, Cass Morrow’s brand of straight-talking advice has helped 1700 men to save their marriage, their sex life, and their family – and that doesn’t even cover the impact Kathryn has made.
But this power couple is ready to go global.
Both passionate TED Talk enthusiasts, the next step for Cass and Kathryn Morrow is to get their message onto the bigstage.
As Cass says himself:
“Platforms like social media are great, but they take away our ability for meaningful connection. Speaking in public will help us to reach and communicate with people in the most appropriate way.”
To find out more about reclaiming the awesome marriage and sex life you signed up for, or to book the Morrows for your TED event, visit www.ryancassmorrow.com.