Executive Contributor | Francesca & Stan Levine | Self-Care
Everyone has his/her own love language: physical touch, acts of service, conversation etc. Most of us assume that the way we perceive receiving love is the same for our partner, and so we offer that same behaviour to our partner assuming he/shefeels the same way.
However, very often, our partner has a different love language from us. We therefore need to learn what that is and offer that instead.
The following is a list of some suggested behaviours that MIGHT be considered loving by your partner; how many of them do you offer? How many of them make your partner feel loved?
Introduce me to people at parties
Refill my coffee cup when it’s empty
Bring me surprise gifts
Massage my back
Tell me you love me
When you truly listen to me & show interest in what I say
Write me love letters on special occasions
Buy me flowers once a month
Send me affectionate text messages
Hold my hand in public
Whisper sexy things in my ear when we make lover
Francesca and Stan Levine from Relationship Rescue Institute in Melbourne Australia (known as “Relationship Masters”) address the above matters as part of their Relationship work with couples. It requires exploration of what love means to each partner, and making each other aware of that. Each of them then has the knowledge of what to do for his/her partner to enable love to be truly experienced.
However, it may be a stretch for us because the required behaviour might be outside our normal comfort zone; in those cases, Francesca and Stan help you to understand what’s blocking you and to assist in expanding your awareness and ability to get out of your comfort zone for the sake of your partner and, hence, the relationship.
In essence, most people feel loved when their partner spends time thinking about them – not just in a general way, butconsidering what could make the partner feel special. It’s so easy to take each other for granted after the initial “honeymoon period” is over. There is an assumption that no effort is necessary any more: the early days of being considerate, polite, taking care with one’s appearance and habits and language gradually disappear and often are replaced with the opposite.
If you want to have the excitement and “zing” of those early days, you have to do again what you did then. Not only will your partner feel loved again, but so will you.